I talk to myself. I always have. The more I am alone, the more I talk to myself. And I’m alone a lot these days. This by-product of solitude is now a requisite for solitude. I talk to myself and I get damn irritable when someone interrupts. Don’t derail my train of thought. I need this time with myself.
What do we talk about? We replay all the conversations of the day. If we haven’t had any conversations, then we replay the conversations we read in books or heard on TV. When I’m teaching something, I recite my lessons. When I’m learning something, I recite my lessons. You might just be dozing in line, but I’m whispering to myself: otto, husband, compare daijobu; kaeru, but a different kaeru; ha-re, the sun and blue means clear skies; ha-re tokidoki kumori.
I’m also an INTJ. Slowly I discovered with surprise that most people do not enjoy solitude or talking to themselves… A friend once told me: “When you are alone, you are not alone… is just that there is no one around. You are with yourself… and the people who can’t stand being alone, is because they can’t stand themselves.”
I believe that, too. People who constantly seek others to pull them out of themselves are unhappy with themselves. — mss