I’ve learned to be patient. Or maybe it’s just that I’ve learned to trust myself. My Need-for-closure Self (the J-type) has learned to let my intuitive self (the N-type) do her job. Intuitive Self knows that with enough pieces, the puzzle will come together; she’ll be able to connect the dots, to see the patterns. Need-for-closure Self has to suspend her need to know the parameters and constraints before starting out. She has to fly blind for a little bit, until Intuitive Self gets the lay of the land. This makes Need-for-closure Self nervous. She wants to give up before she begins. She wants to remain in well-charted territories. She likes to be on firm footing.
So I’ve been slogging. Just putting one foot in front of the other, not understanding what I was seeing, not knowing where I was going. Just keep going, keep going. Something will click and then it will make sense. And suddenly it does. I see the world with new eyes. It feels just like this.
A Note About The Miracle Worker: I saw this movie when I was very young, perhaps 7 or 8 years old and it had an incredible impact on my psyche, especially because my older brother was mentally retarded. I knew wanted to be a teacher, someone who could unlock the mysteries of the world to others. It is a very dark film, especially in the scenes showing Anne Sullivan’s childhood. Do children today watch “serious” films or are they restricted to a children’s ghetto of slapstick humor and animation?
I don’t know what children are watching, M, but Annie Sullivan was one of my heroes, too.
Have you seen Phillip Oliver’s lovely post about Helen Keller’s birthplace in Alabama?
http://phillipoliver.blogspot.com/2008/07/ivy-green-birthplace-of-helen-keller.html
Annie at the Transplantable Rose
My sons favorite movie is Radio. If you’ve seen it, you’ll know why it surprised me. We bought it for him, and he’s seen it several times now and wants everyone to watch it. He’s 14, in sports, full of sarcasm and yet he has a big heart. I also loved The Miracle Worker, and remember reading books about Helen Keller when I was young. We watch many different films at our house, and always talk about them if they have anything disturbing in them.
Incredible! I was just talking to a friend about this movie–he is a teacher and we were discussing the parallels between his students and training Ace–mainly, what it takes to be an effective teacher. Helen drops the napkin and only Annie is aware that she is testing…but doesn’t let her get away with it, as her family might have. That is what a horse will do almost every time you work with him. If you are not focused and present, they will cross that line. But those sweet moments when the student tries, when he understands–YES! this has a MEANING! The dots are connecting to make a picture! I have felt like Annie Sullivan with Ace many times…